A Single Impression Can Save a Life

I was 19 when I heard about a young man in my Church group who killed himself.

He was gorgeous.

Tall and athletic.

Blonde and tanned.

Pearly white smile.

Smelled so good when he walked by.

One of those guys a young woman, who's as shy as a nun, is only brave enough to stare at from the corner of her eye, dreaming of being gorgeous enough to catch his eye.

Thinking he would never want to speak to her.

The news of his death hit me like a baseball bat to my gut.

Todd!

He had it together!

How could this have happened?

Days went by.

The news finally came of the letter he wrote before leaving his house.

"If one person smiles at me today, I will come home."

I'll never forget that.

It haunts me every day and is the reason that, no matter how grey the suit is that I pass on the downtown busy streets, nor how scruffy the weathered face is pushing a bulging shopping cart, they get a smile. Sometimes even a few words are shared over some piece of happy in the moment.

Todd is also the reason I couldn't say no recently to a young man from abroad who noticed a post of mine and reached out for help.

I didn't coddle him when he said he didn't want to live.

I said, "Your poor Mom!"

He continued with his reason for feeling out of place, lost in life, confused and alone.

Again I didn't coddle him.

I said "Of course you feel that way. We all do at that age!"

"We do?" he replied.

"Yup," I continued. "You're biologically changing. You're changing from boy to man. Your demands are increasing. Your peers are changing. It's a crazy time for everyone yet one day you'll miss these years when you're no longer a teenager. The confusion stops when you stop and take in all that you are in your present day." (Smiley face)

'It will?"

"Oh yes, it will."

A few hours go by.

He sends me a pic of his arm after cutting himself a few days ago.

Taking a chance, the Mom/Caregiver in me took over...all I said was "Sorry you are feeling that way. Your mom made you a perfect little arm! She gave you life inside her body! Nothing exists that isn't perfect."

The response I got in return was one I didn't expect.

"Ma'am, can you be my guide for life?" he plead. "I was searching for a teacher whom I can actually be proud to call my teacher."

"Of course I will," I respond. "As long as you promise me you'll live a long, long life."

"I will do everything I can." he vowed.

"Then I will be your mentor for a long, long time."

and we talk now every day.

From abroad.

Thank you Todd.