Blowing kisses...
- Colleen Songs
- Apr 5, 2018
- 2 min read
Yup.
Those are my legs.
Getting into a truck,
driven by a man
who sets me free
by the promise of his love.
When I was ready for it,
when I chose it,
when I tried, tested and trusted it,
I hopped aboard that Chevy Avalanche
and haven't looked back
other than to blow the past a kiss!
I had taken the highway you see,
and he, he was in my future waiting for me
down a road I never thought
I would be travelling a few years before.
Looking back at that timeline I shiver!
Shy.
Giving.
Shut up.
Isolated.
Closed in.
Housebound.
The perfect little wife...
for a narcissist.
Gradually stripped of everything and everyone that I loved, liked, desired and enjoyed
to appease someone who could never be pleased,
it took till I was barely breathing before I woke up!
Fear kept me there.
Fear of another failed marriage.
Fear for the lives of my Children.
Fear for the lives of those around me.
Fear of hearing any more of his hurtful, threatening words.
Fear for the blood I thought would be on my hands if he took his own life.
Fear he would take my life along with his.
Fear kept me lashed and slashed
until something deep down inside me
dug me out of the spell he put me under.
"What woke you up?" you ask.
Well...
At that point I truly had nothing left to fear BUT fear itself, so
'Fear' shook me!
'Gut-Feelings' grabbed me!
'Mother-Bear' instincts over-took me!
'Life-Threatening' (quality of and literally) woke me!
And that flinch from threatened life startled me into action!
I knew
I had only two choices:
His way
or the highway.
I chose the highway.
"Why blow a kiss?" you ask.
Because without that road
I would not be on this road I am now travelling,
and it's been one amazing,
'Total Joy' ride!
XO Colleen Songs
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