A #MeToo Moment

Introducing my 'bitch face'.

We all have one.

My kids would laugh because even when I'm angry I'm a big marshmallow.

Getting them to quit arguing or fighting meant taking them for ice cream as punishment.

It immediately turned whining into laughter so I used it and we all quickly forgot about the fight and had a great day.

I don't take this face out very often.

Once in awhile I use it in jest to test my kids (adults now) or Husband when I want my way, but they don't take it serious and I usually get a smile back or a reaction simply to humor my efforts to be mad. Respect doesn't come with anger in my family. It's earned more effectively by love, honesty, humour and caring.

But yesterday my bitch face came out for real

and she came out

a 'la CocoLoco...

As a break to get me out of the house after long hours of writing and research, my Husband took me to look at trucks.

We have a beauty of a truck that we bought last year and after some recent conversations about comparing the market prices for year-end deals, we were told by a dealership in Canmore that we may be able to save some money and interest on a new one. Cool!

As we're in Calgary we went to the closest Dealership to check it out.

We walked around and asked a Salesman some questions, stating honestly that we were not looking to buy right now, but we were interested in knowing what our options were IF we were to consider a trade on our truck for a new one.

We know the value of our truck, a very pampered 2014 Dodge Ram 1500 Laramie Longhorn! We got a smoking deal on it, and held tight to our terms of zero down, equal payments. Period.

Tra, la, la...we talk, we look at a few, they work out some numbers.

We stay casual and repeat that we aren't looking to buy right now.

After looking around we both think "Nah", but this answers our question: we have great value in an optimal truck I never thought we'd ever own, and though the interest rate was a little high, in the long run, we got a good deal, so thank you.

They come back with better numbers and some great arguments and we think a little bit more about it...

We entertain their reasoning in regards to weighing the warranty costs and repair costs as the vehicle gets older. BUT, I state that I have a Son who's a High Performance Auto Tech and he can drop in a new Hemi on a weekend. They continued to bring up expenses and possible costs and bla bla bla.

So we think, maybe...

Then we see this glossy, black, special edition hunk of a Hemi!

Truck porn!

We're tempted!

We actually make them an offer that we thought for sure they would say no to.

Zero down, same payments and terms, lower interest rate.

Asking doesn't hurt does it?

As this was not my, nor my Husband's first time buying a truck, and these millennials really treated us like we were wet behind the ears, we were humored by their enthusiasm but counter-offered their counter-offer thinking there's no way they'll go for it and we can end this debate and our question is answered.

They accepted!

So hey!

Cool!

Okay!

Sure!

Why not?

We are led into their sales office and sign the offer to purchase, with a small down-payment and of course wait for the usual financing approval steps to be taken, only to be asked to leave his office for a few minutes so he can assist another customer.

Uhm, okay.

We go for a drive and get a bite to eat, then meander our way back with a decision.

This doesn't feel right, we agree, so we decide that it was fun to shop but no, we don't want another truck and especially from a dealer who brushed us aside in the middle of processing our transaction.

We return to the dealership and explain that we really don't want to purchase it, that we were really only looking to compare right now, as we said from the start.

One after another, from salesman to sales manager, sales manager to another sales manager, sales manager to manager, manager to finance manager, we were met with...

"What would it take for you to buy this vehicle?"

"Why do you not understand the math on this transaction?"

"We will get a huge bonus if we make quota TODAY, and THAT is why we gave you SUCH a bargain!"

"I really don't understand why you can't see that this is SUCH a better deal for you?"

"We have put alot of hard work into getting this deal for you, so don't tell us you've changed your mind!"

("Uhm, it was about 30 minutes in total, putty hands." I secretly think to myself ...I know. Judgment. But really?)

We stand there in silence as we are tossed back and forth waiting for the return of our down-payment, amused, bewildered, and Coco is getting a little redder by the second, but trying hard to stay poised.

I am directed to the finance manager's office as my Husband needs to take a business call. There I am verbally refused of our down-payment saying that they were not obligated to return anything.

He asks me what exactly my husband was doing. I tell him taking a business call, he'll be right back.

He mumbles, "Business call, eh?"

"Yeah," I retort, "You know those calls you take when it's business calling."

I wait in the finance office, anxious for my Husband to return and then Mr. Finance Manager switches faces to timidly try and seduce me with numbers to buy this truck, in my best interest.

I'm patient until he says, "So is your husband bullying you into not buying this truck?"

That's when my bitch face started explaining some facts to him.

"I am an independant woman! I have a brain and this ISN'T my first rodeo! I don't need a man to help me decide anything! And my Husband over there is the best man I've ever known and he is neither validated by nor domineering over ANY one! And neither am I! So WE have decided that WE don't want to buy that truck right now and WE will decide where and how WE want to spend OUR money and I don't need a man telling me where to put it, who to spend it on, nor give me permission, to do anything! Now, WE do not want to buy another truck right now so WE will take our deposit back and MAYBE come back when I can plop cash on your desk and say give me the fucking keys!"

He gets a little red in the face and tells me he needs to ask his OTHER MANAGER for PERMISSION to refund us.

By this time my Husband is back in wondering "WTF!" as I am.

We are directed back to the finance manager's office where the sales manager tells us quite angrily that "You made an agreement to buy this vehicle and we are not obligated to do anything."

My Husband immediately says he is calling Alberta Motor Vehicle Association and upon dialing he is told by the sales manager to "Go Ahead!" as he waves the offer to purchase contract in front of my face.

I get up

and pace

the showroom.

A few minutes later the sales manager comes over and says to me, "The Owner has to call to validate the refund. So he will be calling you to discuss options in an hour or two."

I look at him with complete disbelief!

"Are you kidding me? I thought YOU were the manager here? You have no authority? What kind of company are you working for?" I assert.

"This is the way we run our company," he defends.

"I am feeling so bullied right now!" I exclaim. "I have never been treated so poorly by anyone! I have spoken to FIVE of you and now I have to go through ONE more of you to tell you I DON'T WANT TO BUY THAT TRUCK?" My voice hasn't QUITE risen to the max yet and I'm trying to stay in control.

"I really don't understand how you cannot see what a smarter deal this is for you? Why can't you get it?" he spits at me in bewilderment of my stupidity.

And now the bitch face is FULL ON!

"I CANNOT BELIEVE," at the top of my lungs! "HOW DIFFICULT IT IS FOR YOU TO GET THAT I DON'T WANT TO BUY THAT TRUCK RIGHT NOW, FOR FUCKS SAKE! HAVE your OWNER call me, PLEASE! I'll be calling a lawyer!"

I walk outside to find my Husband in conversation with Alberta Motor Vehicle Association telling us our rites and reassuring us that we:

#1 never have to feel obligated to give a downpayment on an offer to purchase and

#2 they have just recently had the same calls from other people with this same company.

When he hangs up he knows something went down by the redness of my face and fire in my eyes and he hands me the keys to our truck for me to cool down then he goes inside to have a chat with the guys in the dealership.

"She lost control in our place of business," the paper waving sales manger tattles.

"We thought this WAS a place of business," my Husband asserts calmly, "and we WERE potential customers. We want our money back and we will await your owner's call."

We go home.

I am seething.

He is breathing.

We are victims of bullying in the sales world where the bottom line overshadows the needs of the client.

We were called stupid for not 'getting' their deal.

We were made to feel guilty for the effort they had to put in to make the deal.

We were bumped for another customer right at the pivotal point of sealing the deal. (Thank God!)

We were reprimanded and accused of spousal abuse.

We were insulted.

We were degraded.

We get home.

I sit at my desk to try and work.

I am in a fog and feel like I've just stepped out of a boxing ring.

My Husband brings me tea without my asking.

Then his phone rings.

"You can come and receive your refund. Our owner was away buying 10 more dealerships in the states and really said 'business was business', but I told him to give it a break. When can we expect you?" says the sales manager like he was superman saving the day.

"We'll be in tomorrow." says my Husband.

Click.

I seethe.

He breathes.

He hugs me.

"There's #MeToo all around us isn't there?" he states.

"Yes, it's all too common." I calm within his safety.

"Wow!" he whispers in my ear.

I sink into him.

And we book our truck into Bubbles.

#bullying #hardsales #bullyingintheworkplace #customerbullying #dealershipbullying #metoo #abuse #verbalabuse #badcustomerservice #DealershipsGoneWrong